Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson. A Goddess in human form. For the unaware, Emma is the latest young starlet to grace Hollywood. She plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films. She's fourteen. And she's hot. Okay, so the Harry Potter films were pretty shitty. Even worse than the books. But I was there at the first showing of both movies for one reason, and one reason only. Hagrid. Er, Hermione. Remember the premiere of the second film? There were pictures of Emma everywhere. I choked my wizard over those many a time, but that was not where my love affair started. Oh no. Unlike those pussies who jumped on the bandwagon when the Chamber of Secrets came out, I've been a Hermione-hugger since the first time I saw her perfect ten-year-old image in the Philosopher's Stone. Respect. Unfortunately, British law considers sexual intercourse with a minor a criminal offense. Bastards. So, with that in mind... There are: until Emma Watson is legally legal. Emma, my darling, I would wait forever to knob you well hard.